It’s not personal.

Do you ever find yourself taking the things that other people do or say to heart? Even if it logically has nothing to do with us, or even if we are simply a projection of others’ sense of intrinsic motivation? 

I think that’s one of the greatest crimes we can commit to our hearts: taking on the passions of others in excess. Like we’ve talked about before, it’s not unusual to find oneself looking at everything around us for a sense of validation. This is especially the case for our relationships of all types, and even more so with those closest to us. 

I guess I should speak for myself. I found myself wanting to be the reason why people found themselves smiling, and why they felt special. Don’t misunderstand; this wasn’t to soothe my ego’s need for praise, but it was rather to find a sense of self in all the wrong places. I love genuinely and truly, with all my heart, but I eventually had to realize that all actions are self-motivated. I can love, but I cannot be the thing that motivates literally everyone else in their decision-making, for better or worse. Truth is self-evident, and those I love, don’t know or even don’t like are all motivated by their own sense of what will be their means of realizing that truth. 

It is really easy to take on this cross of false martyrdom and flay ourselves into submission due to insecurity. It’s fruit from the garden of good and evil, not fruit that soothes the soul. I think it’s safe to say that we all love our main character fantasies where we can, and our stories are our own, not to be told by another. 

A gift as a result of this clarity is a truer sense of sovereignty. You take responsibility for what you say and do, not for anyone else. For better or worse. So if you feel heartbroken, misunderstood or underrepresented, know that it has nothing to do with you as a person. People are motivated to serve themselves and their needs. You are more than good enough, and nothing on God’s green earth will dictate otherwise. 

So remember this in those moments when you want to be hurt by the decisions of others, especially if it’s a threat that’s merely perceived. Be empowered in knowing that living in a place of divine sovereignty means living where only God can touch you. 

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